icicles under my roof
bygones like icicles grow longer each cold night I have forgotten spring under the bare branches yet sun rays penetrate somehow drop by drop, pain melts away--old--I have hung up the bygonelike...
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Very nice, LS. The growing-icicles metaphor works well for this tale of putting aside the painful past. If I am reading it correctly, though, I have a hard time with the icicles being unable to bear...
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Dear Eric,Thanks for your comments and suggestions.You have got very good points.ThanksAnna
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Hi A - your lovely poem! I think you did a fine job removing the unnecessary rhetorics - the piece is much tighter.small suggestion:yet sun rays penetrate somehow drop by drop pain melts awayPerhaps...
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Hi Ryan,For each poem, I found I still had a lot to learn and to improve.Thanks for reading and suggestion.Anna
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A wonderful rewrite! This is real poetry.I would lose "somehow": it answers a question no one will ask.Good job, Anna.
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Hi Erik,Thanks a lot.This is improved with help. Thanks all.Anna
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